Last Will and Testament of Roxas
by Crimson Cutie
Summary: Between the 5th and 6th day Roxas tells his friends goodbye.


Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights to Kingdom Hearts. This is a work of fandom.

Not entirely sure where I was going with this. But I always felt like Roxas' friends deserved a goodbye and possibly to know what was going on.

* * *

Hayner, Pence and Olette,

This is hard to write, you're going to have to bear with me guys- because this is really hard to write. I kind of wanted to title this, the Last Will and Testament of Roxas, but that's morbid and I didn't want you guys to get the wrong idea. I don't want you to think I'm going to kill myself or something but I have this feeling, this horrible feeling that I don't have much longer. This might really be the last thing I write so I have to make it count. It's hard to explain how I know this, but things are coming to a head. I'll explain what's been happening. I'm going to tell you things you're not going to believe. Things that I claimed happen before but you guys acted like I was seeing stuff. Maybe I am, hell I sort hope so. But now, I'm going to tell you what's been happening from my point of view. Real or not, it's real to me. I want there to be some sort of record of what happened, some record Roxas existed. And I want to tell you guys: my best friends, so you'll understand and so you'll remember me.

It started with the dreams. At first they weren't so bad, it's kind of weird to be dreaming about someone else, to not even be in you own dreams, but still not so bad. My dreams were about three people: three kids who grew up together- best friends just like us. They lived on an island. There were two boys and one girl. The girl's name I could never catch anytime they'd say it, it would also be incomplete- just the first part Kai-. One of the boys Riku, was the more practical of two. The other boy, Sora, was a dreamer. His brown hair is even spikier than mine but his eyes, I didn't notice at the time, but I think we have the same eyes. I mention this because it's kind of important.

At first there wasn't anything that special about these dreams: three friends playing just like we used to. But then one night I dreamt about the three planning to leave their island and see the world. The next thing I'm dreaming that they did leave but not the way they planned. Some sort darkness attacked the island and they were separated. I think Riku might have had something to do with it. Sora tried to reach the girl but failed and they were pulled away.

That was the night before the picture thief struck. You guys remember that- how weird it was that we couldn't even say the word photo? Do you remember how all of the pictures were of me? Remember what you suggested Pence: that maybe the thief was really after me? I laughed it off, but now, scary as it is, I think you were right. There was little more to meeting the thief that I didn't tell you. Did any of you get a good look at him? He was some guy covered all in white and the way he moved I'm not even sure he was human. I cornered him at the mansion. And then, I don't know, he spoke or it was my imagination but I could've sworn I heard a voice say something like "we've come for you." Then it attacked me. I still had a struggle bat from fighting Seifer so I fought back with that. At first it didn't work, it didn't hurt the creature. Then suddenly the struggle bat changed in my hands. I know you guys are probably thinking I'm crazy but this is where the really weird stuff started happening, so bear with me guys cause it's gonna get worse. Anyways it changed into a giant key thing that seemed to have a mind of its own. After I defeated the thief with the key thing the thief vanished leaving behind all of the pictures. The key thing vanished too.

That night I had more dreams about Sora and this time they included that key thing. Sora found himself alone in a strange town. He made some new friends, including his two traveling companions Donald and Goofy and decided to look for his two best friends on other worlds. Sora had a key thing just like the one I used; it was known as the keyblade.

The next day before I met you guys I picked up a twig and was playing around with it pretending it was this keyblade thing. (I liked it and wielding it had felt so natural.) Anyways when I was done, I threw over my shoulder and accidentally hit this guy in a black coat. He walked away without saying anything. I know it doesn't seem like there was anything weird about this other then me acting stupid but it will come up again.

This was the first day we planned to go to the beach. Yeah, I know you guys are disappointed with me for losing the money and I know my excuse sounded lame but let me tell you what happened from my point of view. It was the guy, the one a black coat from before. He tripped me with the same stick I accidentally hit him with earlier. He yanked me to my feet by pulling on my arm and must have picked my pocket then. And he said quietly to me, "Can you feel Sora?"

Sora, the guys from my dreams. It's weird enough to dream of someone else but how did this guy know? I had more Sora dreams that night, from his various adventures when he was looking for his friends. He found Riku but things weren't the same between them. Finally he found Kai- but something was wrong it was like she was missing her mind. And then my dreams were interrupted by someone else. I saw a girl in a white dress. She smiled at me. (Yes, I'm dreaming about girls now: let the teasing commence.)

I saw her again outside of my dreams or at least I think I was awake. See it was just as I was heading out to meet you guys, when you and Pence were shopping, Olette. But suddenly time just stopped. Like a complete halt, you guys froze and even the birds in the air weren't moving- not flying not falling just frozen in air. And she, the girl in white, was right in front of me just saying hi. She knew my name. And then after saying something about wanting to meet me, she left. Just walked away and time started again and I made some comment about seeing something which you guys thought was me stalling.

I went and followed the girl heading toward the mansion. But more of those guys in white, just like the picture thief, came out of the forest and tried to grab me. They chased me to the sandlot. Seifer's gang was there. I tried to fight the guys in white but once again the struggle bat wasn't working. And time stopped again because Seifers gang froze but the guys in white didn't.

Then the girl in the dress white yelled at me from a balcony to "use the keyblade" and next thing I know I was standing on giant stained glass windows connected by weird doors (this part I'm pretty sure was a dream). I got the keyblade back and fought more of the white guys. I even fought this huge one that I never thought I'd beat. When he threw me in the air I noticed that the stained glass thing I was standing on was a picture of Sora. (Can't seem to have a dream without him, huh). Anyways somehow I beat the giant guy but then almost got swallowed up by darkness. The girl in white saved me. She finally told me her name: Namine. She asked something about remembering my true name. But then the guy from before, the one who stole the money, said to "stop and it was better if I didn't know the truth." He made some kind of portal and pushed me through and then… then I woke.

I was back in the sandlot with Seifer's gang standing over me. They said they chased the guys in white out of town. That's about when you guys entered. So there you have it, I ditched you guys and the trip to the beach and instead spent the day sleeping in front of Seifer's gang, having a really weird and somewhat disturbing dream. You know, I said at the beginning that this was really hard to write, but it feels good to tell you guys what's really been happening to me. To tell you guys the truth even if you don't believe me.

I had more Sora dreams that night. (big shock right?) These are kinda hard to describe because I don't really understand what was happening. There was some kind of battle. Sora fought with his friend Riku who changed into some other guy. But Sora did save and fix his other friend whose full name was finally said: Kairi.

That was the night before the stuggle tournament. Do you guys think Vivi was acting kinda weird at the tournament? That was when the next weird thing happened. (Sorry Hayner, nothing interfered with our match and I beat you fair and square.) When I was fighting Vivi time did that freezing thing again and then Vivi changed in one of the guys in white. The struggle bat turned into the keyblade again and I was surrounded by more of those guys in white. I was kinda sick of this happening by now but I didn't really have choice but to fight them.

Once I beat them I met another strange guy in an identical black coat. Even with the hood up I knew it wasn't the same guy because well, this guy's voice and build were different. He told me his name was Axel and asked me if I remembered him. I'd never met him though. He acted like he knew me but at the same time wasn't surprised I didn't remember him. He wanted to take me away with him just like I think the guys in white were trying to. He wouldn't give me answers and when I threw down the keyblade in annoyance the thing just appeared back in my hand. I ended up fighting this guy too. (I know it seems like I've been fighting everyone lately.) He was tough and I think he might have been holding back.

Our fight was interrupted by someone else. A guy dressed in red with his face covered by strips. Axel knew him and attacked him. This new guy, I'll call him red-man (too many mysterious guys in my life, which would be funny if it weren't so serious) anyways he told me Axel was telling me nonsense. I wanted more than anything to believe that, but it didn't explain all the weird stuff that's been happening. In the meantime Axel was yelling not to let red-man deceive me. They were both calling my name. Two opposite sides and I didn't know which if either was right or if either had my best interests at heart. I did the only thing I could think of: I called out for you guys to come save from this mess. Like magic it broke the spell. Time started and I was back fighting Vivi with a struggle bat not a keyblade. Vivi was even his old self again confused about what he doing fighting me.

Now for another really scary thing, what happened after the struggle match. I clearly remember losing my balance and falling from the station tower after Olette pulled out the ice cream bars. What happened next is kind of hazy. It felt like time was slowing down. I called out and a girl answered me. At first I though it was Namine again, but she corrected me by introducing herself as Kairi. I referred to her as his friend or something. She asked me for a name. I told her mine but that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to know his name, she wanted me to say Sora. Here I was falling to my death and still it's all about Sora. I didn't get a chance to decide if I wanted to use my last seconds of life to tell her because then I heard another voice. It was like Sora's voice as it has been in my dreams except it was a little older more mature sounding. He teased Kairi for forgetting his name and gave her a hint. And then they were gone and I was falling alone and swallowed by darkness. And then...I woke up.

It was morning and I was lying in my bed like the whole thing was some kind of dream. It even had Sora in it just like every dream I have nowadays. So it was just a dream right? I never fell off the tower. But the problem is if that isn't what happened that night, I don't know what did. Those are all the memories I have. I don't remember changing into my pajamas. I don't remember brushing my teeth and going to sleep. I know the whole day wasn't a dream because the struggle tournament happened and you guys confirmed I won it. You guys claim I almost fell off the tower but was saved. But that's not the way I remember it.

Maybe I'm just losing it. I can't tell dreams and illusions from reality anymore. I really don't know what's going on. Our search for the wonders was like this. I know I saw balls coming straight out and the wall at me. I didn't let the dog out of the sack but maybe it escaped from a hole when I wasn't watching. I know there were a bunch of Vivis in the tunnel. I saw my shadow in the water and then it came out and fought me. And I know I saw the train. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but I know what I saw. I wouldn't have tried to step on the tracks otherwise.

But none of that compares to the seventh wonder, the girl in the window. I saw her Pence, not just a moving curtain but I really saw her standing there. It was Namine. And suddenly my mind was inside that room. I was looking at the pictures on the wall. One showed two figures in black coats. One had wild red hair and the other had spiky blond hair. The first was Axel the other one was…me. Namine confirmed it and she told me that Axel and I are best friends. Utterly bogus because you and I are best friends right Hayner? But Namine was totally serious. She asked me if I wanted to know the truth about who I really am.

Next, I saw a picture of Sora and his two companions, Donald and Goofy, from the dreams. Namine told me she took apart Sora's memories a year ago and she's been putting them back together. It is almost done now, but it's been affecting me for some reason and it's why I've been having the dreams. And then she showed me a picture of Sora and me holding hands. She went on to tell me that in order for Sora to become whole again he needs me. I have part of what he is.

Then I was like physically in the room sitting at one end of large table with Namine at the other. She told me she's a witch with power over Sora's memories. It seems like the more I learn the more questions I have and the less everything makes sense. My curiosity got the better of me, so I asked what she knew about me that I didn't know. What she told me is…this is going to be the hardest thing to tell you…Namine told me I was never supposed to exist. How can she say such a thing even if it is true? Namine apologized for saying it but didn't take it back. Next thing I know, I was standing back outside the mansion and Pence you were shaking me to snap out of it.

So if you guys noticed that I was acting depressed last night, this is why. How'd you like to be told that you weren't supposed to exist? That you have part of someone else? It's like I'm just some part of Sora that was never supposed to be separated in the first place. I don't know how you'd feel but I feel…I feel awful. This is almost the end of my story. I had some more Sora dreams tonight. I dreamt that Sora and his companions defeated the guy Riku became and restored peace to the worlds. He then sealed the door to the darkness but he had to seal his friend Riku on the wrong side. So he sent Kairi back to the island alone and together with Donald and Goofy went looking for Riku and Mickey, another guy whom got sealed on the wrong side of the door. They came to this castle and then I lost it. Like a TV set that's loosing its signal the picture seemed to flash and disappear.

The next dream I had was unique because for the first time in so many days I was actually in my dream. It was really brief, there were two characters in black coats, one saying something about "having been to see him" and the other one asked whom the first one was. The second one was me. It was my voice that asked. I was the second guy in a black coat.

I had one final dream. I was in some kind of dark city with lots of these shadow creatures I think are called heartless around. I was fighting them with two keyblades. There was another guy in a black watching me from the top of building. He was wearing a blindfold but I'm pretty sure it was Riku from my Sora dreams. I ran up the building and threw one of my keyblades at him. I don't know if I was throwing him a weapon or throwing it at him. He caught it and together we battled the heartless. But when they disappeared we turned on each other. I bested him and he demanded to know why I had the keyblade, I just yelled "shut up" back at him. And once again I knew that I was dreaming about myself, not a dream of me in Sora's body, because this was my voice. It was my dream.

That's it. That's the end of my tale, of everything weird that has been happening. I don't really know what the dreams mean but I keep thinking about what Namine said about how she'd been putting Sora's memories back together. Have my dreams been Sora's memories as he recovers them? And what about me? Namine said Sora needs me to become whole again. So what does it mean now that I'm having my own dreams? Is this where I entered the tale? Are these my own memories and if so why don't I remember them? I can't help but think about the fact I'm wearing a black coat in these dreams, just like Axel who's supposed to be my friend, just like I am in Namine's pictures.

It's sad but I really wish I was just going crazy because if I'm not what does it mean? It scares me to admit this to myself, let alone you guys, but I feel like I don't have much time left. It makes sense if I think about it. If I'm part of Sora and Sora is going to be whole again soon what's going to happen to me? Will I cease to exit or somehow become Sora. I don't want to. I'm going to be honest with you guys: I'm scared. I'm scared not just that I will cease to exist but that I never existed in the first place. I suppose I could stand vanishing or something, but to learn that all the time we spent together, that my entire life meant nothing, that I can't, I won't accept that.

This is my last will and testament so I suppose I should get to the will part where I give all my worldly possessions away to the people I care about. I don't have much but you're the people I care about so I want you guys to have some stuff. First off you guys can have my candy stash. Split amongst yourselves and eat it on the clock tower and if it's not too much to ask, think of me while you're enjoying it.

Pence, you can have my munny. I know I don't have a lot. You guys know I've never been able to save much. I seem to spend munny as soon as I get it, but I have managed to acquire a small stash. It's in a shoe box in the back of my closet (so I won't be tempted to spend it). Anyways it's yours Pence, mister miser, put it toward that computer you've been saving up for forever. Olette, you can have my struggle bat. Remember when Hayner and I tried to teach you and Pence some struggle techniques? You were pretty good. I think with some practice you could beat out Fuu in the girls' division next year. You don't have to compete but I think you have some real potential and I don't have any girly stuff to leave you. Finally, to you Hayner, my best friend (no matter what Namine says about Axel), I leave my most prized possession: my skateboard. I guess this will mean I'm really truly gone because you guys know there is no way I would give it up otherwise. There is nothing the matches the sense of freedom I get when I'm skating down the streets.

I'm taking back what I said about this getting easier to write because now I'm almost crying, I just don't, I don't want to lose you guys. I was thinking about all the time we spent together and I don't want it to end. But I guess it has to. At least this letter has to end. I've been writing for hours and now it's almost time to meet you guys at the usual spot. So what else should I say? I guess I just want to say that if nothing else I'm so grateful I got to be friends with you guys. I'm so incredibly glad we got to spend the summer together. I have this weird feeling like I can't be sure anything before this summer is real but at least I know the summer was so I'm glad I got to spend with you guys. I don't know what else to say except goodbye.

Your friend no matter what,

Roxas


End file.
